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View contributed jokes below!
Pupil- "Teacher can i please go
to the toliet?"
Teacher - " I will let you go if you can tell me that alfabet
from A - Z "
Pupil - " A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z"
Teacher - "the alfa bet has 26 letters not 25, Where is the P?"
Pupil - Half way down my leg!!
Natalie Harris. dundee, scotland
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Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Arfur..
Arfur who?
Arfur got!
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Q.what did the
big phone say to the little phone?
A.your to young to be engaged
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what do you call
a man with a car on his head ?
jack
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Q what did the
man say when he gave his son a boomerang for his birthday?
A many happy returns
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Q.Why did the one
handed monster cross the road
A.to get to the second hand shop.
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A ham sandwich walks into a pub and orders
a pint of larger and a packet of crisps.
The Barman replies "Sorry mate, we don't
serve food in here"
Contributed by Bart and Dawn
Van Gogh walks into a pub with his mate. His
mate goes to the loo and Van Gogh gets himself a drink. His mate
comes back and says do you want a drink.
Van Gogh replys "No it's alright, I've
got one ear".
Contributed by Bart and Dawn
If Buttercups are yellow, What colour are Hickups?
Burpule!
Contributed by Bart and Dawn
What would a pokemon
do if he knew you were in the shower ?
Pikachu (Peek at you)
Contributed by Stuart
Ridout
There was an English man, an Irishman and
a
Scottish man on a desert island
They found a genie who gave them 1 wish each
The Englishman went home to London
The Scottish man went to Glasgow
And the Irishman said he was bored so he wished
for
his friends to come back
Contributed by Daniel Cheney
How do you get a one armed Irishman out of a tree?
Wave!
Contributed by Karl and Richard.
How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the door.
Contributed by Karl and Richard.
How do you sink the 2nd Irish submarine?
knock on the door and he will open the
window and say I aint' fallin' for that one again.
Contributed by Calum and Mike.
Why can't Russia play in the World Cup
Because they have run out of subs.
Contributed by: Edward Kilby (Up
in Derby)
Woman: I've just bought a fur coat
Man: Really, What fur?
Woman : To keep me warm of course.
Contributed by: The webmaster
WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A PIG
WITH A ZEBRA ?
STRIPEY SAUSAGES
Contributed by: Tomas Brown
WHAT DO YOU CALL A DREAM WHEN YOUR BEING
BITTEN BY A LION ?
A BITEMARE
Contributed by: Tomas Brown
WHAT DO YOU CALL A FLY WITH NO WINGS ?
A WALK
Contributed by: Tomas Brown
How do you turn a cat into a dog? |
